An inability to last in bed is a problem for a huge amount of men. The good news is that despite what you may have been told, for the majority of men this in not because they have a condition or problem. Most of these men have simply never been taught how there ejaculatory process works and how to control its various triggers.
While there are a number of more complicated and intense methods and exercises men can complete to gain full control over their ejaculation, this article will focus on 10 techniques you can implement right now that will help you last longer tonight.
The truth is that most men who are unable to last in bed are not breathing correctly during sex. By learning to regulate your breathing correctly you can make an instant difference to your lasting time tonight.
It’s important to get your breathing right not just during sex, but also beforehand as well. This will help you to be in a comfortable and relaxed state right from the start. Before sex has begun begin breathing in the following way.
The key when breathing out is to feel your whole body relaxing all the way down to your pelvic muscles. As you begin sex, continue breathing this way. You may seem self conscious the first time you try this, but after a few minutes practice you will become accustomed to this type of breathing and your partner won’t even notice. If anything she will think that you are really enjoying yourself.
You can also use extra deep inward breaths to turn back the clock as ejaculation nears.
If you feel you are heading towards the point of no return too soon. You can lengthen your breathing slightly. Breathe out fully, while making sure not to tense your pelvic muscles towards the end of your breath.
This is one of the quickest and easiest steps all men can take to last longer in bed. Try this tonight, and I'm sure you will notice the difference.
This little known trick is great. It’s dead easy to do and is effective immediately. The reason it works is simple and I’ll explain it shortly. But first here’s the technique.
During sex, as you feel that you are starting to lose control do the following:
Run the tip of your tongue around the roof of your mouth in a circular motion.
That’s it. It doesn’t seem like much does it? But it works really well to bring you back into control. Most people assume that this technique works because it distracts you from sex. But that’s not the case. Why it works is because it helps you tune in to all your sensations, and not just those you are feeling in your genital region.
Remember, sex is a whole body experience, so it’s important not to only focus on the sensations being felt by you penis. This simple technique acts as a reminder to you to focus on all you sensations.
For men who experience premature ejaculation the first one or two minutes is often the real danger time. Once you have made it through this period the odds of you being able to last longer actually increase.
So to last longer the next time you have sex, make sure to start with a less stimulating position. Once you have gotten used to the feeling of being inside your partner and built up your confidence, you can then switch to a position that offers a higher level of stimulation.
You should also take it slow at the beginning and avoid any deep thrusting, that may over stimulate you too soon. You will notice that after the initial period you will begin to relax and gain confidence, which will in turn work to increase your chances of lasting longer.
Make sure to combine this with the breathing method previously discussed.
If you have ever read an online message board on the topic of premature ejaculation you will have no doubt come across someone telling you to distract yourself. They will say try to think of baseball or an ugly old lady.
You may have even tried this yourself and I’m sure you found that it didn’t work very well, and what’s more it is highly detrimental to both you and your partner’s enjoyment of sex. The truth is, you should be doing the exact opposite! That's right men – Don't tune out, Tune in!
The great thing about learning how to fully tune in during sex is that it will not only increase you and your partner’s enjoyment, it will also help you last longer. This next technique uses the same principle as the tongue on the roof of your mouth trick, and takes it to the next level. Here’s what to do.
As you begin sex, begin to caress your partner all over her body. As you do this, start to really focus in on the feeling of her skin as you move your hands across her body. Make sure you are really tuned in to the feeling of your partner.
Next: encourage your partner to do the same to you. This shouldn’t be hard by either asking her to, or just with a few small gestures. As she caresses your body, again tune in to the sensation. You can then take this further and focus on every single sensation you are experiencing. Even the felling of your body on the sheets or the feel of your partner's breathing.
You will find that by using this technique you are actually letting yourself tune into every sensation you are experiencing. This will stop you from primarily focusing on just the feelings experienced by your penis. It will also help you move towards a “lost in the moment” type state which is one of the keys to developing complete ejaculation control. With practice you can really take this a step further with fantastic results, but by implementing this simple tune in technique you will be able to increasing your lasting time tonight.
Being in the right frame of mind before you have sex is crucial for you to have a chance of lasting longer. Sure, you may be nervous, but the worst thing you can do is dwell on the situation, and start to panic.
Realize that the woman you are about to have sex with is with you because she likes you. If you are new together she is probably just as nervous as you. Remind yourself that there is no pressure on yourself to perform.
Remember the techniques I have shown you in this guide, and remind yourself that you have a number of tricks up your sleeve should you need them, so there's no need to be worried.
And lastly, remind yourself that it’s not the end of the world if you do happen to ejaculate early. There are a huge number of areas you can practice that are bound to help you last longer. As you get better you will last longer and longer each time. So take away the pressure on yourself, just relax and focus on the beautiful girl you are with.
For almost all women orgasm is reached not through the thrusting of the penis, but through stimulation received during sex on the clitoris. This is good news for us, because positions that best stimulate the clitoris are generally the ones that involve less stimulation to the head of the penis and will make it easier to last longer during sex.
By selecting these types of positions that stimulate you partner's clitoris you will be able to keep your partner very happy while at the same time keeping yourself in a controlled state.
This is another technique you can use as a “cool down” when you can feel ejaculation nearing. It’s quite simple but shouldn’t be overused.
As you feel you are losing control, push your pelvic muscles out. Do this in a similar way that you would as if you were trying to force a bowl movement, being careful not to push too hard of course.
Don’t push out for too long. Just two or three seconds is enough. Many men find that this has the effect of forcing tension out of the pelvic and ejaculatory muscles which will in turn ease your build up towards ejaculation.
Like I said, it’s important not to overuse this technique. It’s OK for a quick fix, but to gain full control over your ejaculatory muscles in the long run you will need to work on developing your control over these muscles. Full control cannot be developed by forcing the muscles, it can only be gained by developing an ability to relax these muscles on call. You should be working towards this, but for a quick fix, the method I have shown you above can be used.
You have probably heard that stress can cause premature ejaculation and your own stress may even be contributing to it. If that's the case then this next tip will be of extra importance to you.
During sex there is a good chance that you are unconsciously tensing a lot of your muscles. To last longer tonight you will have to put a stop to this. Although the key muscles are the ones in your pelvic area, you shouldn't be tensing any of your other muscles either, unless it is necessary for movement.
During sex, many men will begin to tense their pelvic muscles without even noticing. Imagine you are lifting something with your erect penis. The muscles you would use to do this are the ones you have to ensure you are not tensing during sex.
So to last longer tonight, keep these muscles relaxed and make sure not to start tensing them during sex.
This technique involves you switching between sex and oral sex with your partner. Hopefully with the other techniques I have shown you, you won't need to use this technique. However it's a good one to use when you are feeling extra anxious or nervous.
Start by giving your partner oral stimulation, then after a minute or two begin intercourse. If you feel that you are reaching the point of no return, switch back to oral sex. If you do this in a teasing manner, most women will get quite turned on. After a few rounds of each you should find that you are becoming more relaxed and are able to control yourself more and more.
You may even find that you only need to go one or two rounds of oral sex before you start to relax and you find your control increases.
What this method is doing is taking all the pressure off you. You will begin to think that it doesn't matter if you near ejaculation because you can always switch to oral, and still be able to please her. Since you are more relaxed and have the pressure taken off you, chances are that you will find yourself lasting longer and longer.
Note that: For my face to face clients or in my 4 weeks program guide to lasting longer in bed I don't recommend this technique as I prefer my clients to develop control without the need to stop and start. This has been achieved by almost all my clients within 4 weeks. However, since the topic of this article is about “quick fix techniques you can use tonight” I have included it.
And lastly, this next technique is a little different from the others and involves you physically stopping your body’s ejaculation. It’s important to understand here that your orgasm and your ejaculation are two separate physical actions. This technique will stop your ejaculation yet you will still experience orgasm.
Although this method is safe, I strongly recommend that you use it only as a last resort, as using it too much does not give you the frame of mind that you should be in when training yourself to gain full natural control over you ejaculation.
There is a point mid way between your testicles and anus. As you begin to climax, press this point firmly with your finger. As you continue holding this point, once you orgasm you will feel some contractions, yet you will notice that you do not ejaculate. To prevent any ejaculation it’s important to continue holding it until all your contractions have finished. This will probably take around 20 – 30 seconds.
You will find that you may not be able to maintain your erection immediately after, but it shouldn’t take long before its strong enough to continue sex again.
You can practice this method while masturbating before using it during sex, but remember, don’t overuse it. It should be reserved for emergencies. Even if you don’t use this method, it's good to know that you have this technique up your sleeve as a last resort.
So there you have it. Ten ways to help you last longer in bed tonight. I'm sure that both you (and your partner) will find them very beneficial. Good luck and most importantly have fun!
While you're at it, relationships expert Rod Phillips has put together an interesting checklist which you can complete that will give you some additional information on how to last longer in bed through natural methods. This is well worth thecking out!
James Robinson is a sexual health councilor at the Chicago sexual health clinic with seven years experience specializing in premature ejaculation and ejaculatory system control techniques and author of the highly successful guide “Beating Premature Ejaculation: a step by step course”.
Its important to note that the methods discussed in this article are focused towards steps you can take right now to last longer in bed tonight. Although I'm sure you will find these beneficial, as with most things in life there is no true “quick fix”.
If you do experience premature ejaculation or have trouble lasting in bed, there are a huge number of ways you can naturally build and develop complete control over your ejaculation. These however will take a little longer. If you are still not satisfied with your lasting time it is well worthwhile talking to a qualified sexual health expert about steps you can take to naturally build up your control. Alternatively, I have written a comprehensive 4 week program on how to last longer in bed for men showing you in a step-by-step format how to train and develop both your mental and physical control to a point where you have total control over the timing of your ejaculation. This is quite a detailed program covering a large amount of areas but has proven to be hugely successful for the large number of men who have completed it.
It's important to remember that premature ejaculation is not a condition or disease, it is simply that you have never been taught the large number of techniques and skills required to control your ejaculatory system. These are skills that all men have the ability to develop over a relative short period of time. Although it can be quite embarrassing, premature ejaculation is not something you have to live with. Don't be afraid to seek help as a healthy sex life is something that everyone deserves to experience.